Dad Knows Best, Part Two

In part one of this post, I discussed the importance (and payoff!) of trusting God with wherever He leads. This is something I've always learned in the church, but it had not become real for me until a few months ago when I first began to consider going on an international mission trip with Ambassadors, a part of an organization called Adventures in Missions that allows high school students to be international missionaries for 2-4 week periods. I have always dreamt of someday doing an international mission, but I never considered that time could be now until I found out about Ambassadors. I didn't even know that AIM had trips for high school students before actually looking at their website one day. (Ambassadors and AIM are fantastic organizations, by the way! I encourage you to check out their website here, whether or not you're even interested in missions! The stories they share are amazing and God is so evidently moving in their work.)
After several weeks of praying and dreaming, I felt like God might have been calling me to go. In some ways, it felt like perfect timing...but in many other ways it didn't, especially considering my age and my lack of mission-magnitude-money-making skills. ;p
I had been stressed before just over making the decision to even pursue this opportunity, so just having a clearer idea that it was what I was supposed to do made me feel better. I decided to talk to my parents about it and seriously begin working towards a mission this summer. I finally had a plan and felt relieved. Everything was going so well until just a few days later that same week when one of the directors from my church's student ministry invited me to apply for a Christian leadership camp at a stateside university. And that's when I was just like, "Okay, Lord...wow. This is awesome, but now I have absolutely no earthly idea what you want me to do." To which I heard Him promptly reply, "That's okay. You don't have to know what to do but I do--I already do--and you can trust that WHEREVER I lead you is gonna be good." And for the first time in all my tough decisions, I truly felt at peace and okay with whatever He had planned for me.
So almost exactly a week after I had previously decided to go on an Ambassadors mission to Guatemala or the Philippines, I applied instead for the camp at Asbury University in Kentucky...and honestly, I couldn't be happier with my decision. It was a little tricky at first, and I was caught completely off guard since I thought I would be going on a mission trip. I look back at that plan that I had and just smile...because the Lord ended up making it so clear in a variety of ways that this was what I am meant to do in this season, and I love seeing the ways that He orchestrated everything to where I would eventually arrive at this place.

One thing that I started doing as soon as I began to pray about the mission was contact friends to pray for me and share their mission experiences. The answers and advice I received were all so helpful, but one of my friends shared a comment that really struck me.
"Instead of praying and asking if He wants you to go....start praying, 'Lord, if you want me there, start providing.' Whether that means opportunities or financial means to conversations--He will abundantly provide if that's what He wants!"
Looking at all the aspects of this camp, I think that this is what God is providing. Money had been a concern with taking the mission, whereas the camp cost significantly less. The mission would provide an amazing experience sharing God's Gospel worldwide, but the camp would give me practical ways to live out my faith and call to disciple here where I am now. I'm not sure if possibly next year He'll have a mission trip in His plans for me, but either way I am trusting because I have seen that His plans are good, especially through discerning for this experience in the past few months!
I think the hardest part of it all was just learning to listen to the Lord and be open to anything He might say. I so so struggle to listen and discern His will...I already am a horrible quick decision maker and trying to tackle that on a God sized scale has always been super difficult and stressful for me, but through this season, the Lord has taught me He is so worthy of trust. His plans for me are good. He is not here to crush my dreams. Let me say it again: His plans for me are good.
I remember for some reason thinking that I wanted to go on the mission, and He probably had the opposite in mind and I was just listening to my own heart talking....as if because I wanted something it certainly couldn't be His will. But I heard Him whisper to me in that moment, "No, child. I want good things for you. Maybe this is your voice, but maybe, just maybe, it's mine. Don't discount an option because of your own ideas about it." That gave me peace and freedom to feel whatever emotions I felt about the idea of mission work and reminded me that while my instinct isn't always God's plan, it also isn't necessarily NOT His plan.
In all of this, He revealed to me more of His truth and goodness...as He always does! I love that amidst all the twists and turns my summer plans have made, I see Him working in all of it.
"Blessed is she who has believed the Lord would fulfill His promises to her." Luke 1:45
He promised me He would provide, and He was so so faithful in the most beautiful way.
Honestly, I couldn't be more excited. While it wasn't my original plan, I truly am so thankful and blessed by this opportunity...and again, it just reassures me once more that my Heavenly Father truly does know best.